i'll sleep when you're dead

2007-03-08T08:04:00.000-08:00

THE NEW RAWKUS RECORDS. SAME ASSHOLES THEY ALWAYS WERE.

so the other day me and my band took a picture with puffy. he had been in our rehearsal spot in brooklyn the entire week and we thought it would be something we would regret if we had missed the chance to get a flic with dude. this is for many reasons. there are the obvious points of irony (el-p and puffy in the same room together!?!?!?! but how? why?), as well as the fact that he is simply one of the most famous people in the world. so we went in to the hall and asked him if he would take a picture with us. he was on a conference call but told us as soon as he was done he would come in to our room and take a flic. yeah right, we thought. so 15 minutes pass and we had all but forgotten about it. we were in the middle of rehearsing TPC when the door swings open and puff walks in. i had a full band there so we just kept going with the song. diddy chilled in the corner dancing (i shit you not) and waving his hands in the air. when we finished he came over and we took a flic. he shook everyones hand, smiled, was gratious, asked for a cd then bounced. a true gentelman (at least to us). we couldnt wait to get home and put the picture up on our respective myspace pages. i have met a lot of people but there was something so hilarious and wonderful about this picture. maybe it was that we were all genuinely having a great time. the smiles you see are not sarcastic or smarmy, they are real smiles from a group of guys having a blast. and of course... el-p and puffy????? so up on myspace it went. out to all our friends it went. a proud and hilarious, unexpected moment of very differet musical worlds converging. one of the those rare funny/fun/cool moments that come out of no where and is completely unexpected but great.

in steps WWW.RAWKUS.COM.

these twisted, corrupted shit eaters who stole money from everyone they worked with, fired their staff a few days before christmas, signed amazing artists and never put their records out, blocked artists they had under contract from signing to other labels even after they had driven their label in to the ground and werent even functioning, sycophanttically attempted to attach themselves to anyone in the mainstream they possibly could, etc. etc. etc...

well here they are again. the "new" rawkus. launching again for any sad sap of an artist who wants to wake up one day and realize they are getting screwed, for any staff member who wants an honest pay only to eventually realize they are disposable. the "new" rawkus. the ones who are literally dispersing questionairs in europe to fans asking what type of music they should be releasing. the "new" rawkus. so these motherfuckers take the picture that was taken with my camera and post it up on their site with a news piece entitled something to the effect of: "company flows el-p and puffy?" that's it. as though the picture is some sort of statement about me. as though the picture is proof of me "selling out". then they have one of their staff members go around to various message boards like OKAYPLAYER and the post about it in any and every post about my new album. oh yeah? you like the el-p record? check out this picture of him and puffy! oh word? you think el is a dope producer? check out this picture of him and puffy!

the "new" rawkus, eh? great start, fellas. jump start your new era with a half assed smear campaign against the guy that literally delivered you the first album that jumpstarted your entire label. a guy you stole dough from, dissrepected, etc.

this is the kind of spirit that coarses through the clotted, stinking lifeblood of that label, and this is why i believe in my heart of hearts that the label is as corrupted and doomed as it ever was. there is no picture of me that exists that can wipe away the guilt of the way these guys operated and clearly continue to operate. there is no moment or image that can take away the fact that while you were whoring yourselves and destroying everyone that worked with you and believed in you i was doing what i thought was right, and still do.

how insulting. how pathetic. how mean spirited and how completely useless and missguided. get off my dick.

i would sooner spend an eternity hanging with puffy than involve myself with the douche bags behind rawkus, be it the old one or the "new" one. as far as im concerned you can keep that picture up there forever. please do. that one moment was more entertaining and fun and genuine than the enitre sum of our business relationship.

ps: they took it down.
pps: now just so im not misconstrued here, im not shitting on rawkus artists. i just feel for anyone who thinks at the end of the day they are gonna get fair and just treatment from these dudes. i may be wrong, though. i hope i am. every artist on a label deserves to be treated right. sometimes shit doesnt work out that way, sometimes it does. i had a bitter experience, yes. but i had no intention of bringing it up publically cause i've moved on and im happy as hell. but seeing them put the flic up of me struck a nerve. it makes me think that in fact nothing has changed. but hey, what do i know. its hard running a label. i know for a fact that even if you do everything within your power to make it work, sometimes you can (as a label owner) get assigned blame for things that are out of your control. but god damn theres a classy way to do things and theres a shitty way.

i just got off the phone with the owner and co founder of rawkus records. he assured me that they meant no dissrespect and that he had the news posting taken down from his site the second he learned about it. i appreciated the call.

so fuck it. i have no beef. im just trying to do my thing as i assume they are. fact is, just cause i had a less than positive experience with them doesnt mean everyone else will. i cant and wont apologize for how i see the way shit went down, but thats between me and them and i have no time or intention of bringing that old shit any further in to the public eye.

so good luck, rawkus. may the future bring you joy and success. this culture and this business is hard enough without motherfuckers beefing. do you. easy,el-p

edit: i just saw the rawkus press release on "el-ps attack". ok. after i just got off the phone with jarret meyer and was assured they had no intention of continuing a negative campaign. motherfuckers. ok. silly me. silly fucking me for once again going with my word as told to jarret and doing my part to smooth out anything negative. awesome. at every single turn you people shit on the face of honor. haters like me. poor you. yeah, i "had to go there".

im a "hater". i have "historical amnesia". oh wait.. im "rich". ok fellas. i guess it looked to0 good on paper for you to resist. i tell you what. im gonna go to my rehearsal now. you guys are great. and important. good luck with being so great.

2007-02-20T13:47:00.000-08:00

MORE FLYENTOLOGY SHIT

New Music: EL-P Featuring Trent Reznor

Posted Feb 20th 2007 2:00PM by Mike Spinella
Filed under: New Music

Hip-hop innovator EL-P teamed up with Trent Reznor on a track called 'Flyentology' from EL-P's forthcoming 'I'll Sleep When You're Dead.'

EL-P told Spinner, "Working with Trent was amazing. I've been a huge fan for years and first worked with him when he asked me to remix the NIN song 'Only.' I think he's a genius and one of the few out there that has truly crafted his own style -- often imitated, never beaten. Bringing him into my soundscape was something I wanted to do for a long time, and i think it worked incredibly. "
Listen: EL-P featuring Trent Reznor, 'Flyentology'

Buy it on iTunes

2007-02-20T08:08:00.000-08:00

FLYENTOLOGY (WITH TRENT REZNOR) ON ITUNES NOW!

hey kids,

for those of you that dont like the name of some kid being whispered in to your ear at random intervals as you listen to the sub par audio quality of the album i made that you got but didnt buy... this is for you!

starting today "flyentology" is out on itunes! the song, as you know, features the one and only TRENT REZNOR (evil mastermind and genius of NINE INCH NAILS fame)!!!

if you are feeling the song (and album) please jump on itunes and support. dont be afraid to write a glowing customer review, either...

hope you all enjoy...stay tuned for the flyentology video, which is in production now. its a full on animated video by the freaks at ADULT SWIM (cartoon network) and should be done very soon.

love, el

2007-02-19T09:45:00.000-08:00

I HAD A BIT OF A ROUGH WEEKEND

2006-11-09T21:41:00.000-08:00

GET ONE LAST LOOK AT THE STACHE

cause after i master the record tomorrow, its gone (sorry, ladies).

2006-11-09T14:55:00.000-08:00

ALL APOLOGIES

i know i ditched the blog.... but the album consumed my pathetic soul in its entirety.

el

ps: we master the album on friday. thats right, bitches. album. done. get. ready.

2006-10-30T12:46:00.000-08:00

EVERY ONCE AND A WHILE SOMETHING GREAT COMES MY WAY

as a rule i dont usually post peoples flyers/ads/promotion on my myspace page. shit just gets anoying. but every once and a while theres a flyer so fuckin amazing that it deserves some sort of recognition. this is that flyer.

2006-10-16T16:52:00.000-07:00

KILL ME NOW

everyone: hey el, why havent you been doin that hot blog of yours, eh?

el: im a rapper, not a fucking blogger.

everyone: well are you done with the album yet?

el: look at the dead squirrel that has swallowed my upper lip and guess you bastards.

2006-10-13T00:02:00.000-07:00

A DRACONIAN LOVE SONG

like the piss and stench of the huddled traitors evaporates from the room and in that moment i can see her truly and she can see me too, beneath the body armor and weaponry my heart quietly thumps and whispers "drop the guns and grab her now's the time to make your run",
sitting in my transport as we slip through traffic veins she doesnt ask me where we're going only holds my hand and gaze, shes my only reason now and im her only hope to live, we pull up to the cabin way above this damned metropolis,
me and prisoner two four seven two nine zero zed, somewhere that is soilent green we're living life instead,
no more war on traitorism only me and her, she could clean my gun and i could help her clean the floor,
back to something natural we live off of the land, when radon levels drop we walk the trails and talk and laugh,
i'll tell her shes innocent and she'll show me shes not, i kiss the number on her arm then lay her on the cot,
im the first to touch her without gloves on, shes the first to kiss me without crying, life before her was just dying,
me and prisoner two four seven two nine zero zed, away from all this violence live inside eachother heads,
away from all this violence live inside eachother heads,
away from all this violence live inside eachother heads,
away from all this violence live inside eachother heads.

2006-10-07T10:25:00.000-07:00

DIBSS HAS A DOG

of course, his name is scratch. not of course is the giant bulging basketball sized tumor on its side.

2006-10-05T11:45:00.000-07:00

HEY TOM.. SUCK IT, BUDDY.

tried putting up the new jam for yall yesterday. some could hear it, most couldnt. now its down. blame that bitch tom and his patronizing little grin.

2006-10-04T11:57:00.000-07:00

SO...CLOSE

must finish album. must shave.

2006-10-04T11:08:00.000-07:00

NO KINGS

for the next day i will have the song no kings up on my myspace page. peep now or forever hold your peace.

http://www.myspace.com/elproducto

EDIT: file might not appear for a minute as im at te mercy of the myspace loading-bot.

2006-10-03T11:32:00.000-07:00

THE HOME OF THE FUTURE

i found love on a prison ship,
i found love on a prison ship,
i found love on a prison ship,
i found love on a prison ship,

2006-10-03T11:24:00.000-07:00

MUSTACHE REVELATIONS

little known fact: did you know that there is a segment of the female population that actually finds a well developed mustache on a man attractive? i didnt know either. i didnt want to know. the end is nigh.

2006-10-03T11:15:00.000-07:00

UPDATE/INTERVIEW COMING

did an interview with pitchforkmedia.com yesterday about the album. interview was cool, interviewer seemed like a nice fellow. anyway should be popping up at some point and will be giving some exclusive details about the record. and the album rolls ever closer to completion.

2006-10-02T16:16:00.000-07:00

HIP HOP MUSIC IS MY LIFE or IF HIP HOP IS DEAD THEN I MUST BE TOO

thinking about it a bit today. damn im lucky. it is my fuckin honor to be allowed to contribute to hip hop music and contributing is exactly what i intend to do. after all these years, after all the albums, after all the tours, after all the bullshit, hip hop music still has my heart. again... im lucky. i will never "move on" from this. i will never consider anything else i do outside of the relm of hip hop "better" or "more interesting" then hip hop music. anything i do is for hip hop. i only hope im worthy. sound corny? sound overdramatic? man this shit saved my life. nothing is fuckin with it. may it live for ever.

we are all genres. we are the absolute polluted blender fuck mixture of anything we can imagine.

just make sure the drums knock, skippy. amen.

2006-10-02T11:52:00.000-07:00

2006-10-01T20:47:00.000-07:00

heres the text of my response to a call to the draft sent to me sometime in the future. i will send it verbatim when the time comes, but in the meantime its preemptively being put to music and going on my album. please excuse any typos. in the future we dont spell things correctly nor do we have a grasp on proper grammer. and we all rap.

dear sirs:

if the pavement comes alive on flatbush ave with toothy smile
comprised of traffic cones and manholes become eyes,
and birds burst into flames while singing satans praises and fold into
the sky and rain down ashy danger,

if every office empties and all slaves walk in dazes to a pool of
liquid money where they bathe blissfully naked and
drugs no longer taunt me and flooze around my conscience and every
woman beating rapist is securely in their coffins and

every open hydrant in a brooklyn time summer moment is opened up by
cops and folds out into an ocean
and rent is payed by bread literally and parking isnt payed for and
food stamps can be planted and childhoods cant be damaged,

if fire can power space ships that safely ship the creators of
dynamite and gun powder to the graves of all faced it and
the slurping nerf of buracrat life and bean counting slave owners is
twisted in on itself until it shaves off its own faces

and the coke and crack in the nation is collected in a top hat and
forcefed to the children of every cia agent and the dust heads get an
angel and an acres worth of rainbow and the projects turn to clouds
and the stupid arent so proud,

and the snivling grimace mongrols of infected money slobbing
pesticrats ignite into a brilliant beam of light
and mercy is the rule and the exception's mercy too and the desert
comes to brooklyn and the president goes to school

time flows in reverse...death becomes my birth... me fighting
in your war is still, by a large magin, the least likely thing that will ever
fucking happen

ever.

sincerely,

jaime meline

2006-10-01T20:44:00.000-07:00

http://onegoodmove.org/1gm/1gmarchive/2006/09/no_free_passes.html

KEITH OLBERMANN IS BECOMING MY HERO

2006-10-01T14:25:00.000-07:00

DOUBLE PLUS GOOD GUEST AND MUSTACHE MAN PEER INTO GLOWING ORB

and what came out of said orb made them happy. secrets are fun.

2006-09-27T13:43:00.000-07:00

CAN YOU FEEL IT?

its getting closer. 12 jams. maybe 13. i know you think you know what its gonna sound like. i also know you dont know what it sounds like. this will be fun.

2006-09-24T16:04:00.000-07:00

DONT EXPECT A LONG RECORD

one of my goals is to get away from the hour and twenty minute record. i feel like there is so much to do within the structure of a song, how each song relates to each other and how a whole album should play out that i've taken the approach of doing less songs. each song has a meaning and a purpose i hope. no filler. fuck it. there have been about 18 songs made. about 12 will make the cut. i never had a lot of disposable shit, but until this point in my life i also wasted whole songs repeating the same ideas over and over. on fan dam i did the more is more thing, and i love that record. but this one is tighter. more direct. also, i plan on releasing another album in 2008. fuck all this 4 year in between records shit.

working on poisenville kids no wins. its the last song on the record and its the most important to me. i wont ruin the suprise but there is a guest at the end that im very excited will be gracing the album. shes one of my favorite artists and we've been kicking around the idea of colluding for a while. but dont worry, my album isnt gonna be some sort of weird compilation of guest appearences. everyone who contributes does so in a well placed way.

i have 3 weeks to finish, and i have 10 songs that are definite for the record. i need about 3 more. why? cause thirteen always gets a bad rap. im gonna change that.

in the meantime, the stashe is honestly out of control. i want so badly to take a straight razor to it. but i have resigned myself to look like a child molester, and so it will be until im done. but dont think i like it.

2006-09-23T12:47:00.000-07:00

IM DOING REALLY WELL WITH THE WHOLE NOT SMOKING THING, THANKS

im sayin though...

2006-09-22T11:42:00.000-07:00

OH GOD STOP IT

its changing me. i am powerless against it.

2006-09-22T08:57:00.000-07:00

MMMMMMMMM

1.gay cop
2.child molester
3.milton
4.serial killer
5.sanitation supervisor at your highschool
6.your father

thats right kids, the stache embodies it all. when i finally shave it you will all know that ISWD is complete. incedently i have decided to make the last few songs 280 bpms each, and to not mix them.

2006-09-21T17:43:00.000-07:00

MUSTACHALYPSE NOW

it whispers to me. it whispers to me. it whispers to me. it whispers to me.

2006-09-21T11:12:00.000-07:00

BACK SOON, BACK SOON

please pardon my absence. making this record is all consuming. will be back tomorrw with a huge update. and when i say huge i mean a couple of pictures and some words.

2006-09-15T16:19:00.000-07:00

WEATHERMEN ROAD TRIP

thats the look of me and yak not wanting to be on the smallest jet plane ever created. weekend in ohio with camu tao. back monday.

2006-09-13T13:49:00.000-07:00

AND NOW, A VERY SPECIAL WORD FROM GUEST BLOGGER MISTER DIBBS

(TODAYS ENTRY IS TENTATIVELY ENTITLED: I'LL SLEEP WHEN EL-P GETS HIS FOOT OFF MY NECK)

I've never really done a blog so, let me apoligize in advance for the bad spelling, grammer, run ons, comments that don't fit & punctuation. I'm in NYC (Brooklyn) working on El-P's (or as I like to call him "The Guy Beating Me") new record.
This is what has happened so far...
1-I flew into Jersey and payed $65.00 for a gypsy cab ride to Brooklyn.
2-Set up my equipment as El yelled about how ugly my ass crack was.
3-Scratched on a bunch of songs while being pelted with lit smokes from el. (as in he's burning me with a lit smoke if I fuck up)
4-Woke up on day 2 (on the floor of the studio I'd like to add) with El stepping on my neck.
5-Found out "mini-beast" the cat has a serious catnip/weed addiction.
6-Decided I love Brooklyn.
7-Decided El-P wants to kill me with a dull butter knife.
8- Was forced to sit in El's hot tub naked while he spinkled cherry Kool-Aid on me and sang " Come'on Eilene" by Dexy's Midnight Runners.
9-Realized I REALLY love Brooklyn.
10-Mr. Lif's hair came through and hung out for awhile although I never saw Lif.
11-Saw the greatest Moog instrument of all time.
12-Met "wilder" the greatest dresser of all time.

I could go on forever but, I should save something for the next blog I guess and, El is yelling at me right now about his ice not being cold enough in his glass of soda that's been peppered with my own urine. Drink Up!!!

Mr.DIBBS

ps: stay tuned for the premier of my blog of the same name of the tentatively titled entry in todays blog (of which i am guest blogging)

2006-09-13T11:12:00.000-07:00

MUSTACHE THEORY

one of the tricks of the trade i employ to get myself motivated during a period of dire work is to alter my appearance in a way that is completely socially unacceptable. it could be a mohawk, it could be deciding not to shower for a week. this process forces me to stay indoors and work, all the while avoiding the regular pitfalls of socializing, drinking and any other distractions that are so easy to indulge in when i should be home toiling. this event usually takes place in the "endgame" phase of an album. this time, i have decided to grow a mustache. everyone knows that only kitty porn enthusiasts and hipsters rock them. now white brooklyn bred rappers do too. this is my vow to you all: i will grow this mustache until the record is done. wish me luck.

el

2006-09-12T16:35:00.000-07:00

TV ON THE RADIO + EL-P

check out:

http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/page/news/2006/9/11/Stream_TV_on_the_Radio_Return_to_Cookie_Mount#38489

to hear my remix of tv on the radios "hours" from their new album. the song is included as a bonus cut on the release. they rock.

2006-09-12T11:03:00.000-07:00

I AM MISUNDERSTOOD

you know, for years now i've had the reputation for being a workaholic, demanding hard ass. that i push the people around me beyond what is reasonable. hogwash.

gotta go now... dibs is really excited to get off his bitch ass and do anything i command him to. he knows its for his own good.

2006-09-12T10:56:00.000-07:00

MY GOODNESS

imagine my suprise when lifs hair showed up to the crib the other day. i dont think lif even realized where he was. so me and lifs hair chilled for a while, caught up. then lifs hair dropped a verse. lif himself wanted to be on the record too but i cant afford to pay both lif and lifs hair.

2006-09-12T10:40:00.000-07:00

ARE YOU FUCKIN SERIOUS???

how could you not want to hear an album that has that motherfucker playing that on it?

2006-09-10T12:25:00.000-07:00

and nothing was ever the same. not ever again.

2006-09-09T11:57:00.000-07:00

KOOLs

man i can understand newports to a degree, but kools? i used to smoke newpies. in nyc thats all they sell at the bodegas if you wanna buy one at a time. we call those loosies. in the 80s it was standard. 10 cents for a loosie newpie. some shit you do when you're broke, which for me was the majority of the time. its also the brand of choice for dust enthusiasts. take the newpie loosie and soak it in wet. thats called a dip. they cracked down on it in the past 5 years. now if a bodega sells a loosie they can get into serious trouble. but some still do that shit.

heres my point though: dibbs smokes like 6 kools before doing yoga. the extra long ones. for those of you that dont know dibbs, hes a hardboiled motherfucker. and he smokes a quarter pack of cools then does yoga on a hard wood floor before you even roll out of bed. respect due.

2006-09-08T11:09:00.000-07:00

WEED, YOGA, PAINCAVE

back in the day i used to smoke dro every day all day. then i started having fits of paranoia. me and my boy john named this "the paincave". soon that started to represent any uncomfortable moment, depression or fear. the phrase started spreading like wild fire. everyone we told it to would latch on to it as though it were some godly mathematical code. an example of the finest use of the english language. 2 words that really seemed to express the intangible perfectly. over the years i cooled out on smoking trees cause for me the mounting reality of being an adult and the nostalgic indulgence of watering down my ability to handle life were clashing. weirdly enough at 30 years old i've taken to indulging a little here and there once again. this only works if im locked away in my own insular world doing music with little to no distractions what so ever. although every once in a while i think im having a heart attack.

the saddest shit in the world to me though are grown ass men who still think its a great idea to smoke 8 blunts before getting on stage. no one wants to pay to see someone roll the dice on your career. wait till after the show.

i also would like to point out that dibbs has vowed revenge for my gay yoga comment, as well as the fact that while dibbs may not be gay, that yoga isnt inherently gay and that being gay is not something i care about or think is wrong, that is the cover of the yoga dvd he uses. it puts me in the paincave.

2006-09-07T10:11:00.000-07:00

DIBBS DOES YOGA

mr dibbs is doing yoga on my living room floor. he has a yoga dvd. now, i know it makes him gay. i know this. but im not gay because of this, right? i mean... should i stop him?

2006-09-06T14:36:00.000-07:00

I'LL SLEEP WHEN YOU'RE DEAD

brookyn, fear, drug addiction, transition, hope, sex and flying.brookyn, fear, drug addiction, transition, hope, sex and flying.brookyn, fear, drug addiction, transition, hope, sex and flying.brookyn, fear, drug addiction, transition, hope, sex and flying.brookyn, fear, drug addiction, transition, hope, sex and flying.brookyn, fear, drug addiction, transition, hope, sex and flying.brookyn, fear, drug addiction, transition, hope, sex and flying.brookyn, fear, drug addiction, transition, hope, sex and flying.brookyn, fear, drug addiction, transition, hope, sex and flying.brookyn, fear, drug addiction, transition, hope, sex and flying.brookyn, fear, drug addiction, transition, hope, sex and flying.brookyn, fear, drug addiction, transition, hope, sex and flying.brookyn, fear, drug addiction, transition, hope, sex and flying.brookyn, fear, drug addiction, transition, hope, sex and flying.brookyn, fear, drug addiction, transition, hope, sex and flying.brookyn, fear, drug addiction, transition, hope, sex and flying.brookyn, fear, drug addiction, transition, hope, sex and flying.brookyn, fear, drug addiction, transition, hope, sex and flying.brookyn, fear, drug addiction, transition, hope, sex and flying.brookyn, fear, drug addiction, transition, hope, sex and flying.brookyn, fear, drug addiction, transition, hope, sex and flying.brookyn, fear, drug addiction, transition, hope, sex and flying.brookyn, fear, drug addiction, transition, hope, sex and flying.brookyn, fear, drug addiction, transition, hope, sex and flying.brookyn, fear, drug addiction, transition, hope, sex and flying.brookyn, fear, drug addiction, transition, hope, sex and flying.brookyn, fear, drug addiction, transition, hope, sex and flying.brookyn, fear, drug addiction, transition, hope, sex and flying.brookyn, fear, drug addiction, transition, hope, sex and flying.brookyn, fear, drug addiction, transition, hope, sex and flying.brookyn, fear, drug addiction, transition, hope, sex and flying.brookyn, fear, drug addiction, transition, hope, sex and flying.brookyn, fear, drug addiction, transition, hope, sex and flying.brookyn, fear, drug addiction, transition, hope, sex and flying.brookyn, fear, drug addiction, transition, hope, sex and flying.brookyn, fear, drug addiction, transition, hope, sex and flying.

2006-09-05T22:12:00.000-07:00

WHY IS EL SO PARANOID? (AKA THANKS MOM)

just to cue you all in to what my childhood was like, this is a picture of what my mother bought me for christmas last year. its iostat. its a bad picture but on the box under the name it reads:

INDICATIONS: THYROID BLOCKING IN A RADIATION EMERGENCY ONLY

i carry it everywhere i travel now. yeah. im the genuine article.

2006-09-05T21:08:00.000-07:00

one of the breed of bonkers, i wouldnt dare to lecture,
i dont know how to lead there's got to be somebody better,
weak in the kneesy species, dreaming of future fading,
seen where the suture stiches nitted slipped? im with you baby,
lets get obnoxious with it, i wanna know what brave is,
im tired of sitting here pretending im not fuckin dangerous

you know, im a big fan of a lot of music of various styles. but lets be real about something: no one seems to be saying anything on a pop or mainstream level that in any way reflects the truth of whats goin on right now, and its a trend in music journalism right now to collectively roll eyes at anyone who does take what is going on so seriously that they actually do let it influence the music they make. especially rappers. rappers are supposed to make fun music apparently, or music that is bathed in the destruction of materialism, ignorance, or both... and thats also fun now. its just true.

i think there is a time and place for everything. right now is the time for anyone with a public voice to start being as honest as possible about who they are and what matters to them. whatever that is. im not talking about getting on a soapbox or spewing some marginal political "knowledge". im talking about not lying, not presenting a false and simplified image of who they are and not bowing down to the pressures of an industry that seems to have decided (incorrectly) whos real, whats real and what pittance of artistic expression has been allotted the hip hop community.

cause this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33ORYWOu0xg is headed to a city near you, you fuckin assholes. get in sync.

now i wouldnt dare say what im saying in my music is better or more right than anyone elses shit. im just a brooklynite tryna craft some marvelous shit.

im not making a political album per se, but i am making an honest one. and im honestly terrified right now. but in a fun way.

2006-09-05T13:27:00.000-07:00

UMM.... OK FUCK SMOKING BUT NOT UNTIL IM DONE WITH THE RECORD

so i went the whole day without smoking. then i lost my mind and bit the head off my engineer cause i couldnt get in touch with him. then i spent the whole first half of the day pacing around and cursing under my breath cause i had to deal with a bunch of regular mundane shit that for some odd reason i couldnt quite handle today. then i realized mr dibbs was flying in tomorrow to spend the next 3 weeks working with me. then i realized if my temper was this short while dibbs is here he might actually kill me, and my engineer might help. so for the sake of them i have decided to keep a pack around for emergencies till im done with the record. then its over. really. nah im sayin though... really.

i remember a few yeas ago there was a black out in ny for about 2 days. me and met from sa smash were living together at the time and the first reaction either of us had was to run to the deli and stock up on supplies. 3 packs of smokes and a bttle of black label. i'm really smart.

2006-09-04T11:47:00.000-07:00

NO REALLY, FUCK SMOKING

this is a picture of the last smoke in the last pack of smokes i buy. i cant do it anymore. no. no. no. if im gonna die its not going to be because of a habit i picked up at 13 while cutting class and trying to look cool enough to get my first blowjob. i would rather chew a ping pong ball sized nicorette blob then continue to surrender my sanity and sense of self preservation to this abysimal passtime. damn it to hell. i need to be in tip top shape if im going to outrun the inevitable riots that are going to occur when the world figures out that we have hit peak global oil. to the forrest, my friends. sharpen your sticks.

2006-08-31T20:46:00.000-07:00

AND I'D LIKE TO THANK MY POPS...

for making me take piano lessons. i'd also like to take this moment to apologize for only being a mediocre player. but when yer on a voyager shit bumps regardless. photo by joey raia.

2006-08-31T16:44:00.000-07:00

ANOTHER BORING PHOTO

what can i say i dont have much to "blog" about. im just in the depths of creating this thing and im finding it kinda hard to do the dear diary thing every day. what does one blog about if hes not either criticising someone elses art or making fun of a celebrity? i dont believe in publically shitting on other artists stuff, especially if you yourself fancy yourself an artist. to me thats like being a cop whos locked up. if you are gonna do it put it to music, or give up music and write full time. that being said, heres another boring photo of one of my sessions that has nothing to do with anything i just said. but its my life right now and its really not supposed to mean anything to you other than being proof that i am really really really trying hard to make a sick album. i cant wait to get out there again and rock for yall.

love, el

ps: the songs not actually called ball of confusion. thats just the name of the temptations song ive been listening to non stop for the last week. if you dont have it yet, pick up psychadelic soul (lp). no ones fuckin with the temptations.

2006-08-30T16:31:00.000-07:00

ME AND DIBBS

thats mr dibbs. hes the other dj doing cuts on my record. hes a fuckin madman. hes rollin next week and staying for 3 weeks as i tear the hairs out of my head with tweasers in an attempt to self flaggelate for the gods of hip hop and get this record delivered.

2006-08-30T13:39:00.000-07:00

CRYYYYYYYIIIIIN

fell asleep late, neon buzz, P.T.S. stress we do drugs,
city air strange, sticky lungs,
mayor doomburg gives no funds and i am cryyyyyyyyiiiiin

call out with a fiendish ring, broken into to smithereens,
everythings exactly how it seems and it would seem that i am cryyyyyyyyiiiiiiin

hangar 18 rolled through to joes studio yesterday and added their special brand of painfully off key back up singing to the new jam i just did called smithereen. we then went and got chicken wings. then we drank. then alaska and wind decided to go home. so we drank more. then they said ok we gotta go man. so we went to another bar. then another. then i forgot the pin number to my new atm card so i went home.

2006-08-28T15:28:00.000-07:00

THE LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY NOBODIES

i've been wondering how arrogant it is to keep doing the things that killed so many that we know.
i've been noticing how quickly motherfuckers have the answers to existance just as soon as someone goes.
we change the channel for a week or so of cleansing and reflecting on ourselves but then its back to that old show.
i hear the cackles of the crowd they're laughing at us and we havent even gotten to the part where its a joke.

2006-08-27T22:05:00.000-07:00

SHIT EATING GRIN

the longer i stare the clearer i see the evil face looking back at me. i'll make deadline on this bitch but im not gonna be sane when i do.

2006-08-27T02:10:00.000-07:00

HOLY SHIT

there are a lot of you checkin for this blog. weird.

2006-08-26T11:38:00.000-07:00

i'm so horribly, horribly hung over. a man without moderation. the good news is the temptations are still the shit. ball of confusion.

thats mike relm up there. hes doing cuts for me and touring with me for this record.

2006-08-25T15:03:00.000-07:00

STRESS PIZZA

from the files of the delapidated lifestyle of a 30 year old bboy losing his fuckin mind.

2006-08-25T12:56:00.001-07:00

CLEAN YOUR SNEAKERS

some use a toothbrush. i prefer a towel or paper towels dipped in warm soapy water. one of the worst mistakes you can make is wprking with house hold cleaning products like windex. you know, in some ways cleaning your sneakers is kind of like making an album. nah im just kidding its nothing like that.

2006-08-23T14:32:00.000-07:00

FIND THOSE DETONATORS!

down at the labor camp, they make a drone of men, mamas boy once but now i learned to speak draconian, and this is all for you, another tatterd kite, i feel it too this is a beautiful and tragic night, all i covet is honor, reaching in murky waters, and barely blink when pirranah teeth turn my hand to schwarma...

2006-08-22T11:28:00.000-07:00

THE TEST PRESS IS IN

my kitchen. first vinyl from the album. emg.

2006-08-22T09:45:00.000-07:00

emails get sent, messages conveyed, etc. every once in a while i get one from a fan that makes me glad i do what i do still. heres one:

im a camera man for a local newstation in el paso texas
and i work the night side on weekends. I start my shift
@ 1:00am. I see alot of shit, roll overs, head-ons, drownings, shootings, stabbings all that in the wee hour shit and all the while im listening to collecting the kid. this is my theme music. if you could only imagine sitting in the news vehicle, in the rain, with a dead body
in front of you because he wanted to end his life and threw himself in front of a car going at 70 miles an hour
all while listeninig to oxycotin. its amazing el-p. it all puts me in a state well lets just say off kilter.

2006-08-21T15:07:00.000-07:00

ELECTRIC SHEEP

one of the reasons that it takes me so long to make records (apart from the fact that i lead a double life as a record label owner and producer) is that my process is demented to say the least. most of the songs you've ever heard from me are 6, 7 or 8 times removed from what the original attempt sounded like. i build entire songs musically that end up getting scrapped, with only a few elements remaining that get thrown on the final. for instance, flyentology is the song im mixing now. its the bastard hybrid of no less than 5 completely different and finished versions of the jam. its a fucked up way to work but it serves a few purposes: the first is spontenaity. most of the time a piece of music, a sample, a drum break serves only as the medium to get me off my ass and writing. but ultimately its not meant to exist in that form. the second is perfectionism. once the writing and performance is done i've got the pleasure of sitting naked, drunk and crying in front of my equipment for weeks, months and on occasion years trying to tune the shit into something that feels perfect to me (at least for the time). the only way to stop is to force myself. being in a group was cool cause i could turn to someone and say "is it done?". thats why i produce for other people. its easier. other people arent as much of an asshole as i am.

the tat is by grimey. hes a master of his craft.

2006-08-21T11:29:00.000-07:00

NO KINGS

its a brutalized lab bunny jumpin the fence, grab the money and the charger for the micro chip embedded in head,
brooklyn is the life equal parts joy/striphe, i sit up in the cribbo and carve these noid kites out of lead, the same weight of the monkey on my neck, who crawled off a my back and tried to make friends, now im runnin round lit like the fun never ends... but someone ran their key on my whip plus left dents

2006-08-20T15:25:00.000-07:00

THE TOWER CARD (from tarot)

synchronicities abound. this shit fucked me up when i saw it. look familiar? heres a description:

Synopsis
Rigid or imprisioning structures need to be torn down and replaced with the new.

General Description
The Tower shows that we have walled ourselves into an area of supposed security that suddenly starts to waver. This is very much a matter of structures and dimensions that have become too small and narrow for us. Convictions and basic principles of life could be affected by this, as well as our thoughts of security in the professional and financial sense. Last but not least, our personal friendships and other partnerships could also be influenced. In every case, the Tower stands for a concept that used to give us a reassuring measure of security, perhaps even a feeling of safety. But now we have grown out of it. These old concepts are usually toppled by surprising experiences, sometimes even true flashes of genius. Since this is a matter of the supposed basis of our security, these sudden changes are often first experienced as catastrophes. It is only when the first shock has been overcome that we sense with relief that we have been freed from old burdens. This breakthrough can be triggered through our own perceptions as well as external events. The I Ching says in this regard: "The storm with its thunder and lightning overcomes the disturbing tension in nature."

2006-08-19T15:42:00.000-07:00

KEEP ME IN THE SKY THAT ALL THAT I CRY
i'll become your servant (at least for that time)

joey raia mixes FLYENTOLOGY. hes good at what he does.

2006-08-19T12:05:00.000-07:00

SCOTT LAROCK AND CED GEE TAKE ACID

i've been trying to figure out a neat little way to describe the beats im doing for this record. you know, something catchy for the kids. i think i figured it out. basically its like a psychadelic BDP record. maybe. the picture is of my roland vk 8. it an organ. its fresh.

2006-08-17T11:27:00.000-07:00

ANOTHER WEAPON

this is a nord. in the right hands its grimey as fuck.

2006-08-16T16:19:00.000-07:00

a brief list of some of the people who appear in some form on my record (so far):

in no order and in varying degrees of performance:

Tunde Adebimpe
tame 1
mr lif
aesop rock
trent reznor
the mars volta
matt sweeny
james mcnew
rob sonic

im not a big fan of records that have a bunch of (featuring so and so) after every song title. my collaborations for the most part come from friendships i have with people who happen to be in the vicinity while im making my shit. little splashes of other peoples voices, talents, energy used in subtle ways is the way i usually like to freak it. rob does some back ups, sweeny plays some guitar, aes drops a verse, james plays some bass... whatever works at the time. its the southpark theory: when george clooney appeared on southpark it was as a gay dog. thats the type of shit that makes my day.

that being said, im off to mix flyentology (featuring trent reznor)

2006-08-16T14:37:00.000-07:00

DRIVE, DRIVE, DRIVE... HOPPED IN THE HOOPTY SCREAMIN FREEDOM IS MINE

"i knew a kid who navigated it slipperry and fuel injected a speedball on his way to atlantic city (peace dan), out the race before even making his mark and now he'll never pick his shit up out of long term parking.."

2006-08-16T09:48:00.000-07:00

POISENVILLE KIDS NO WINS

this is the last song on the record. being that i only pretend to be a musician, it was a pain in my ass to switch meters from 6/4 to 4/4 then back again repeatedly. the end of the song had 2 james brown samples that were the fucking shit, but i bowed to pressure and im gonna have them resung and changed up. fuckin sample laws. i swear to god when the first nuke is dropped in the middle east im immediately dropping an album that is produced with no regard for any sampling laws what so ever. every beat will have impeach the president drums, james brown screams, 16 bar philip glass loops and a verse from biggie grafted on the end of that bitch. you cant telll from the flick but this song has over 80 seperate tracks of music. for those who arent familiar, thats a pro tools file. pro tools isnt some magical cheating machine, it a digital recording and editing program.

2006-08-15T09:20:00.000-07:00

room in flux. shithole of randomness. the triton is a cute little machine but it aint fuckin with the eps. good effects and filters though.

2006-08-15T09:10:00.000-07:00

here she is: 16 bits of pure ancient glory.. the eps 16 +.

no flash drive. no stereo sampling. alarm clock radio style display. broken keys. a beast.

2006-08-14T16:28:00.000-07:00

i didnt underline it. i dont know who did. maybe my publicist. emg is getting pressed up on see through yellow vinyl.

2006-08-14T14:15:00.000-07:00

"bush was with it, blair complicit, cheneys laughin, hello fascist,
you're my daddy, you'll protect me, i need guidance to live correctly,
i cant fight you, feed me ether, im your servant, your the teacher,
what the fuck el? oops so sorry, that the implant, talking for me,"

still trying to name this joint. shit is like 125 bpm. god help me.